Monica, Having done hospice with both my parents and in laws I can only say that as hard as letting go is that doing so through hospice is a gift to them and the family. It allows you to offer them compfort and dignity and what more could any of us ask at the end of life?
Where the cancer has spread and how far, general condition, organ weakness and immune function can change the situation quickly. As many of these things are unknown it would be impossible to tell. However there are some signs that are generally seen at different points during the progression to the end of life. Be aware that it can come slowly or turn on a dime it is very situational. Here is a link on WebMD on the subject.
Mom is just one month after surgery removing a very large tumor. We have decided not to treat the cancer as she also has dementia and had surgery for a broken hip same week as bladder surgery. She is now on hospice at home with us. I am trying to figure out how far along she is and getting nothing helpful from the doctor. They just keep saying every patient is different.
The urine is getting milky and thick, is that the bladder breaking down? Just wondering what to watch for and are we looking at months or weeks?