Gil,
It is of course good that you got on this soon after noticing the bleeding. I am awed by the speed with which your care team makes things happen. I would have great faith in them simply because of their responsiveness.
I offer my thoughts as one who is on the final attempt to avoid the RC, and who has had time to ask the forward questions of my care team; here is MY take, based on MY situation.
Chemo before or after RC is a decision for the oncologist to make - s/he can best evaluate which is better or possible in your situation. It can be critical because there can be a high chance that some cancer cells have escaped the bladder, settled elsewhere, and will respond to the chemo. I have been strongly advised to let the oncologist decide.
I find that everybody reacts differently to the drugs and procedures that are applied. My BIG #1 question is, "Who can I call, with authority to act, 24/7 if I suddenly need assistance dealing with treatments". I have been in the situation of needing immediate help and I am greatly comforted knowing that a Named Person is going to be available and understand how important s/he is to me..
As to other questions, I say, "Spill your guts" to your care team, upfront, about your concerns, needs, desires and fears. Do not be shy about asking for specif assistance or reminding the team if "someone forgets". I freely hand out copies of my list of the issues that are important to me - if there is going to be a change in plans, I want to know about it as early as possible, and be involved in the decisions.
Care team includes doctors, technicians, nurses, hospital staff, surgery staff, etc - everyone with whom you will interact on this journey.. I want everyone on board.
It does sound like you have a good team on your side, already aggressively moving in the direction of treatment. That is a really good start !
Please let us know how you are doing,
Best,
Jack