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Mr Palmbay,
My opinion, you need a third opinion. I suggest a university medical center with recognized urological cancer program. You have the diagnosis many of us hope to avoid - the difference is that we have had time to look ahead.
Pre op chemo is NOT to save the bladder, but to be an early attack on any cancer cells that may have escaped the bladder. Dismissing chemo because "the bladder will have to be removed" seems out of touch with frequent recommendations. Perhaps there is more to the story, or not.
Time is not your friend right now. Let an oncologist opine on a course of treatment.
Below is a list of major cancer centers - listed by the Nation Cancer institute. One or more are likely to be fairly near you.
www.cancer.gov/research/nci-role/cancer-centers/find
Best
Jack