So sorry to hear about your husband, It sounds as if you are doing all the right things, and Dr. Bochner (MSK?) is a great second opinion. I am not an "expert" on chemo, so can't help much with questions there.
At your husband's age a neobladder would be a great option. He will want to have a surgeon who does MANY MANY of them, as "practice makes perfect" but it seems as if he is probably in such a place.
Best wishes to you both
Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
BCG; BCG maintenance
Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
my husband (age 45) has been diagnose with invasive bc in dec and since then had CAT scan TURB and currently has a nephrostomy tube in has back since the tumor was blocking the uthera. We are meeting with a chemo doctor, Matt Galsky at Sinai this Wednesday and going for a 2nd opinion on the 20th with dr. bochner. The first Dr recommended chemo then neobladder. I'm wondering what we should be asking the chemo doctor??...I'm still so scared and i'm trying to prepare for the appointments. Any advise would be helpful. Thank you.