If you can do geneology online, you will have no trouble at all on the Forum!!
So sorry to hear your situation, but there are many people living full and happy lives without their bladders. I am sure that you will be hearing from some of them.
The surgery for bladder removal (radical cystectomy) is major, and the recovery time can be long.
There are three primary options for how to replace the bladder.
The first, and simplest, is where the bladder is removed and the urine diverted to an exit in the abdomen where it is collected in a bag for disposal. This is referred to as an "illeal conduit."
The second, often referred to as an "Indiana Pouch," uses a bit of intestine to create a pouch which holds the urine. The urine is removed with a catheter placed in a small hole in the abdomen.
The third, referred to as a "neobladder," has a replacement bladder constructed out of intestine which is "hooked up" to the original plumbing. When it works well, is is almost like being like new.
The Cleveland Clinic has a very good discussion of these on its web page
my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments_and_procedures/hic_Urinary_Reconstruction_and_Diversion
which I highly recommend that you read.
The most important factor for you to consider is the surgeon who does the cystectomy. You want to find someone who does LOTS of these and who is up-to-date on all the issues involved. There are many urologists who specialize primarily in prostate issues and have not had a lot of experience with bladder cancer/reconstruction. If you were taking your car in for a major repair, you probably would not take it to the corner gas station, but rather to a mechanic who specializes in your type of car!! You need to take the same care for yourself.
You have a lot to think about right now, and a steep learning curve. Just remember that there are people who have been through this and are now scuba diving and/or driving race cars!! If the cancer has not spread beyond the bladder, this surgery is as total cure.
Please feel free to ask any questions you have....
Sara Anne