My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. I am sorry for the past time your father suffered, but knowing his loving family was by his side I am sure brought great comfort.
Carry your special thoughts of your Dad with you throughout your life, and the memories will be carried down through the generations of your family.
But, your heartfelt remembrence of your dad was a beautiful tribute to him. He would (and is) proud of what you have become. Trying to emulate him is the most sincere form of love. He fought the battle, and there is no shame in losing the fight. he gave it his all.
Having you remember him so fondly is a wonderful thing. Take that foundation he gave to you and make him proud indeed.
With Great Love
Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he's warm forever.
08/08/08...RC neo bladder
New Man! [/size]
Very moving and heartfelt words about your father. It's just so sad when someone has to go through so much, and you as a loved one feel so helpless in the face of it all. My husband and I were with both my mother and with his mother when they passed away, and it was a much more peaceful and less frightening experience than we would have thought. It's good you were all able to be with your father in his last days, and I'm sure he was aware of your presence even when he was unable to respond. When my mother was dying, the wonderful CNA who was with us in the room told us to keep talking to my mother, that hearing is the last sense to go and that people who appeared to be unconscious could very likely hear,understand, and be comforted. May you and your family find peace and comfort down the road.
Small TA Grade 1, May-06; recur (2 tiny), same, June-08; TURBTs both times. BCG begun July-08, dosage to 1/3rd May-10, completed treatment December-11. All clear since 2008.
5 years 7 months ago - 5 years 7 months ago#46971by Alan
Thank you for sharing! My condolences. It is never easy. It is brutal and emotionally draining what you have been through. Remember the good times also before all of these struggles happened. You must certainly be a loving and caring husband, brother and son as you hoped and wrote about! Be proud.
I too had the difficult decision but also a privilege to be at my Dad's bedside as he passed a few years ago at age 88 while he was semi comatose from a heart attack. Being there while not fun I learned many can still hear and communicate if only their eyes. I could tell him that his kids and grandkids were OK and that all was taken care of. I tried to soothe as much as possible with singing, talking and stroking his head and hands. Cherish the fact that you helped in a moment of need!
Then just a month ago a sister passed from a severe stroke. Same chapter and verse at the end. Unpleasant-you bet but, again a privilege.
Some handle passing differently which is also OK. There is no right or wrong. You did what you felt was best. I applaud you. You will reflect positively upon your experience as painful as it is. I have never looked back. Also, kudo's to hospice, they are a neat organization!
DX 5/6/2008 TAG3 papillary tumor .5 CM in size. 2 TURBS followed by 6 instillations of BCG weekly with a second round of 6 after a 6 week wait.
I am so sorry that this horrible disease has taken another loved one from us.
I know that you will be glad that you were able to share those last days and moments with your dad...He knew you were there for him and that was all you could do. It is so hard, but you should be proud and grateful that you were able to do this for him.
Hospice is a wonderful thing. People do wait too long to avail themselves of all it has to offer.
Please accept my condolences to you and your family...
Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
BCG; BCG maintenance
Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
5 years 7 months ago - 5 years 7 months ago#46965by CatherineH
I am so, so sorry for the loss of your Dad to this terrible disease. I am also very sorry for all the pain and suffering he had to endure, and for your family's heartbreak as you stayed by his side throughout the course of treatment. Your words are a beautiful tribute to him and what a wonderful father and human being he was to have touched so many over his lifetime.
This is a good place to share your grief because you can say here what you don't want to say to your loved ones because they have their own grief to carry. You weathered this as a family and I know your Dad was greatly comforted by all the love surrounding him.
I am glad you had hospice to help get through the last days. Sharing this information will undoubtedly guide others if they ever find that they are facing the loss of a loved one.
Please visit the forum as often as you need to help work through your grief and sadness. There are many here who can be understanding sounding boards for what you are going through. Again... I am very sorry for your loss.
Best wishes... Catherine
Forum Moderator Team
TURBT 1/21/10 at age 55
Dx: T2aN0M0 Primary Bladder Adenocarcinoma
Partial Cystectomy 2/25/10
Vanderbilt Medical Center