Hello Lorraine... Your situation is very, very close to what I experienced as Sara Anne said. I was in good physical shape otherwise, and a non-smoker as well. After having the tumor removed, the pathology came back as primary adenocarcinoma. My local uro was not experienced enough to be comfortable treating me further so he referred me to Vanderbilt in Nashville where my surgeon opted to do the partial cystotectomy.
The surgery went well and I was discharged on the fourth day. As you already know, you will have a catheter until your bladder has time to heal. For me that was just shy of 4 weeks but that was partly due to the fact that I live 300 miles away from Vanderbilt so they wanted to make sure there was ample time for healing. I was 55 at the time and no longer had to deal with periods so that will be an added issue for you but I'm sure they will tell you what you need to do in that regard.
The catheter was a major inconvenience for sure, but I viewed myself as being lucky to have it because it meant that I still had my bladder. Bladder removal had been discussed in the course of my diagnosis and that was way scarier than having a catheter for a few weeks. You'll have a leg bag for daytime so you can move around freely, and the night time bag for when you are in bed. They just connect/disconnect at the tubing that will be on your thigh. I showered with the night bag attached and just hung it on that little bar over the soap holder. I used alcohol to disinfect everything each time it was changed and all went well.
A few days after I got home from the hospital, the surgeon's office called to say that my pathology had come back clean which was overwhelmingly wonderful news. He took two margins around the tumor site, 3 pelvic lymph nodes, and the urachal remnant which is attached to the outside of the bladder dome.
Since bladder adenocarcinoma is a very rare condition, there isn't much data or statistics out there, and what there is reads rather dismally which had me really scared. A very wise person on this forum told me to stop reading those numbers because the info just wasn't reliable enough to predict outcomes. That made sense to me so I took that advice to heart and immediately started feeling more positive.
In the beginning, I went back every 3 months to be checked for the first year, then we stretched it out to 4 months for the next year, then went to 6 months for two visits, and my last check up was one year. My next yearly visit is coming up in October. Every cysto has been all clear, and I get CT scanned every year as well which has been good too. I am now approaching 5 years since my surgery.
This is a tough thing to be faced with at only 40 years old, but your age will work in your favor as your body is strong and should heal nicely. As with any surgery, you have to go slowly so your incision can heal properly. When they say don't lift anything over 5 pounds, listen! I live alone and did a bit too much too soon and now have a small incisional hernia but nothing serious with that.
Please ask any questions you have that I have not addressed. When I was diagnosed, I did not find this forum until months later and felt completely lost. I hope going into it with some information from someone who has been there is helpful.