I'm NUMB!

10 years 1 month ago #45811 by ragmg
I'm NUMB! was created by ragmg
Cancer. Invasive. Bladder removal. 80% still alive after 5 years.

My specialist was afraid that I didn't hear him, but I did. My son and his wife and one of my nieces was with me, but I went in alone to get his report. He told me I could have two people and I couldn't bring myself to leave anybody in the waiting room alone. I knew that I could control my emotions, but I also didn't know how well my family members would be able to control theirs and I couldn't take that right now. Now's the time to collect information and make decisions. Time is of the essence. I just can't let the flood gates open. God has to know that I'm not prepared to handle this even though my family and friends have been told and are offering to be there for me, they really don't know what to tell me. My son, who's 30, just got married in November and is trying to move from my home to the house that he and his bride have purchased and this diagnosis has put a damper on all of that. I don't want to have to say that this disease has invaded my life and that I may not have a bladder in a few short weeks & have to wear a bag, or even worse, the cancer may be found in other parts of my body. So, I really don't want to talk to anybody else right now. I have to wait until next Wednesday to get the scans (CT & Bone) done and the Wednesday after that to get the results from the urologist/surgeon. I may not be alone, but I feel that way right now.....and I'm numb. I haven't cried yet, but that's coming too.

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