So sorry to see you here, but Welcome anyway! Your latest diagnosis is NOT what you wanted to hear, I know.
This would be the ideal time to get a second opinion at a place that specializes in bladder cancer treatment. A second opinion is NOT a repudiation of your current doctor....the best possible outcome would be confirmation that your urologist is doing the right thing and is current with the latest practice in this area. The second best thing would be that if he ISN'T, you would find out what a better approach might be. My urologist told me that, if it ever came to a recommendation for bladder removal, he would INSIST that I get a second opinion. If you should wish to do this, if you let us know where you are located, some of our members might have recommendations as to places you might go.
There is a TON of information in this forum on cystectomy and the options you might have. There is also a lot of information under the Forum heading about "MEN and bladder cancer". Feel free to ask all the questions you want....someone where has "been there, done that.'
Sara Anne