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Hopefully I don\'t belong here...

6 years 10 months ago #43581 by mmc
Guilt causes cancer. Don't do it. It is the most useless/destructive emotion there is (except for hatred).

You can't change the past but you can change the future by doing things differently in the present.

Two people quitting at the same time is going to be a HUGE challenge. One or the other saying "I can't do it unless xxx does it" is kind of pushing away personal accountability.

My wife quit 10 years before I did. I didn't quit until 1 year and 3 months ago and I had bladder cancer twice while I was smoking. I quit a few times but never became a non-smoker until this last time when I finally quit for good (pun intended).

You can quit if he does or not. If either of you smoke in the house, that should stop even if only one of you quits now.

Think about that little end of the little cigarette whenever you inhale. As it glows and sizzles, imagine it burning into your DNA. Each time it glows it is doing damage, every single time....

Hopefully you don't even have bladder cancer but quitting smoking is a great gift to yourself. If the only way you can motivate yourself is by feeling guilty about it, then maybe I am wrong about guilt. Any tool to quit is a good tool. :)


Best of luck!
Mike

Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results....distant mets
2/2014 ct result...spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph...

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6 years 10 months ago - 6 years 10 months ago #43579 by CatherineH
The waiting is terrible... waiting for appointments, waiting for the next checkup, waiting for path reports. But, it is all part of the human condition. Our bodies have defects, our DNA gets messed up, and sometimes that lets the bad stuff take root.

Do not allow blaming yourself for things in the past that you cannot change now (like your smoking) to cause more stress than you already have. Guilt is a terrible self-sentence. You can only commit to doing better for yourself going forward.

I know what you mean about wanting to put a name to whatever monster you may be facing. It helps to focus your energies and time into dealing with what you have to do.

As a footnote, I never smoked and I got bladder cancer, like many others here. They really don't know what exactly causes cancer, or why some get it and some don't in the same environment. Try to let that part of your thinking go and just concentrate on the things you need to do to get well!

Best wishes,
Catherine

Best wishes... Catherine
Forum Moderator Team

TURBT 1/21/10 at age 55
Dx: T2aN0M0 Primary Bladder Adenocarcinoma
Partial Cystectomy 2/25/10
Vanderbilt Medical Center
Nashville, TN

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6 years 10 months ago #43578 by Rall100
It is the unknown that scares me the most I think. The waiting and wondering. I think I have suspected for a while that something has not been right, but I didn't want to face it. I still don't! But face it I must, and will.. just want to know what it is I am facing I guess... I want a name for my monster. Regardless of whether it is BC or not, something is wrong and will have to be addressed. I am tired of the pain, of feeling like I need to pee and not being able to, and constantly being afraid to cough, sneeze or laugh... I want to LAUGH!!

The worst part is the guilt I am feeling. I most likely did this to myself because of smoking, I never knew of the high risks of bladder cancer, but I am not stupid either, I knew that smoking was a nasty, stupid habit to have. I have tried to quit in the past but my dear wonderful hubby smokes too, and without him quitting, it is near impossible.. but he has committed to me that regardless of whether this is cancer or not... WE ARE DONE! To think that I may have willingly cheated my family out of me should the worst happen is just so horrible to bear.. I owed them to be smarter with my health!

I can't seem to quit reading about it..both on this site, and others, and while it scares the crap outta me, it is also helping me to be more prepared for the worst. I guess I am trying to accept the possibility in the event it is BC, and hoping that the news will be better, and that I just spent my time learning about what will probably be my fate down the road if I don't quit smoking NOW! Talk about finding a reason to live! I have so many, I am so blessed and I have been foolish about my future.

That stops now!

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6 years 10 months ago #43577 by CatherineH
Hello and welcome... We would love it if you "don't belong here" but I am glad you have found us for moral support in the meantime awaiting your cysto and results. It is only natural to worry when there is anything new going on with our bodies that doesn't seem right. During a cystoscopy, the doctor can show you on a monitor what he's looking at inside your bladder.

Best of luck on Monday. Let us know how it goes and what you find out.

Best wishes... Catherine
Forum Moderator Team

TURBT 1/21/10 at age 55
Dx: T2aN0M0 Primary Bladder Adenocarcinoma
Partial Cystectomy 2/25/10
Vanderbilt Medical Center
Nashville, TN

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6 years 10 months ago #43569 by Nix
Hi,
You came to the right place. To answer your question, yes, it can always be something other than bladder cancer. You are doing the right thing by having a cysto.
My guess is that it varies from each patient/&doctor, but my doctor knew immediately that I had bladder cancer by the cysto, then I was scheduled for an out patient surgery so it could be removed. Once they removed the cancer and took biopsies, I did have to wait a few days until all the tests were back.
You should know something after your cysto.
I am sorry you have this cloud over your head, but time will pass until your cysto and then you should have some answers.

Nancy

Nancy S
Ta CIS
dx Ta 11/06
dx Ta CIS 10/07

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6 years 10 months ago #43568 by Rall100
So, I have been reading about BC this week because I have been having many of the symptoms and me and my Doctor are worried, I saw a Urologist Tuesday and have a cystoscopic (sp?) on Monday. I have had blood in my urine since Septemeber, went in for what I thought was a UTI cause I had to PEE Constantly, and nothing came out. Infection was not present, but blood and white cells were. I have continued having urgency, frequency, incontinence and pain. Truthfully, I have had pain for many months, just didn't listen to my body.

Ultrasound was inconclusive, but the tech spend a WHOLE LOTTA TIME on my left side of my bladder, and the Urologist said that she felt a thickening on that side.

So I guess what I am saying is... Do I worry, and I blowing this up and it could be nothing? and if it isn't Cancer, what could be causing the symptoms. I have no infection. I have had a full Hysterectomy 25 years ago for Adnomyosis, and precancerous condition, and then some external chemo for pre-cancerous cells at my cervix cuff about 8 years ago.

How long does it take to find out the results from the scope? Can they tell by looking or do you have to wait forever for the results.

I am 48.. this is too young from what I have read, but I have always been one to go against the norm! :)

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