Well, I don't know what to do and I'm new to this...(not knowing what to do.)
I'm 34 years old and was diagnosed with bladder cancer in May of 2011. I found out because the tumor was bleeding and would not stop and I had an emergency removal of the tumor. The pathology report revealed that it was a low grade non-invasive malignant cancer. However, at my three month follow up, a new tumor has grown and there are 3 red spots that may be signs of what the doctor called CIS. I'm scheduled for surgery at the very end of this month.
Now, I have been reading and thought that all would be okay since I found out so early. Now, as I read and speak to people, I somehow have come to believe that because it has grown back so fast, it may no longer be okay. I have no idea what to do.
I have been sufferring illnesses such as Gout since I was 25. Another disease that is supposed to happen when you are old. I don't feel that I'm old enough to have bladder cancer, but apparrently Cancer doesn't discriminate.
What makes it even more frustrating is that I've finally moved up the ladder to land two, not one, but two CEO jobs of multi-million dollar companies. Why is that so important? Because I was pretty much homeless 14 years ago and when i got married 13 years ago, I worked my butt off to get to where I'm at. Now I get cancer? I'm not done doing what I do. I still want to build more for my wife and children. I'm told to take a rest from my 60 to 70 hour work week, but now I feel I have to work more just in case. I'm probably over reacting, but I just can't stop it. I even went out to get a plot for my gravesite. I'm even trying to buy a car for my 13 yr old so that my wife won't have to worry about it when he turns 16. To do all this, I must work harder and faster. But I'm told to take a rest. I just don't know what to do.
And the thought a having a cystectomy scares me. Honestly, I can admit it, that I'm insecure. I have a beautiful wife of 13 years and the thought of not having sexual intercourse with her scares me. How can she be without it for the rest of our lives if I have to have a cystectomy? So much to think about.
Anyone have any ideas of where I should go to from here? Counseling? Just cope with it? All of you seem so knowledgable and any help you may have would greatly be appreciated.
Thank you,
Bobby