Thanks so much Duke! Appreciate your input very much. Will keep everyone posted.
My husband is experiencing a lot of pain in his scrotum still and he's still bleeding. It isn't heavy but it's still a problem. We'll talk to the doc on Monday. They had to take out a tumor that was right on the the tip of his bladder just before the urethra. They also needed to surgically remove scare tissue from his urethra that was blocking him from urinating properly.
I don't know if they dilated his urethra too much or what, but he's in a lot of pain.k
Thank you for your support and concern. Put your mind to rest on that issue.
He agreed that he was being stubborn and unrelenting because he was terrified, but after this last surgery and the difficult time that he's had, he said it would have been better to have the Cystectomy last month.
Under normal circumstances, We are very capable of talking things out in a quiet manner and respecting each others wishes and decisions.
These are not normal circumstances. He has run out of time. The surgeon said the in situ is too close to going into the lymph system and the he warned him of this two months ago before my husband opted to just have the existing 3 tumors removed.
I completely understand what you are saying and I respect you a great deal for being concerned about the blame that could possibly fall on me.
I'm not willing to take the risk of my husband dying. Time is of the essence.
Many thanks for your kind words of encouragement. I'm usually a pretty laid back person . . . he's the major Mover and Shaker in the family, but this was too serious to keep quiet about. I'm very glad we got it all worked out and we can go from here as true partners.
You're right about it not being about the sex. It's the fear of cancer and the future without a prostate and bladder. Being terrified is normal.
Fortunately, his prostate is in excellent condition and there's every possibility that they will be able to save at least some of the nerve endings.
So, we're off for a weekend of activities that will rejuvenate us.
Rayn; Want to wish you and your husband the best. I have already stated how i feel about the surgery, but in your husbands case the one thing that concerns me a little is your husband has to be doing this for himself. I hate to see the burden put on your shoulders, that can be a heavy load for someone. You both have time to settle that issue. AS for the hospital, where i had mine done, they did everything they could to make my wife comfortable.
I hope you get the same treatment.
Wishing you both the best.