Julie, I am sorry to have to meet you this way, but you are at the right place. So many of us have "been there, done that" that we DO know how you feel.
First piece of advice...take a deep breath. Yes, there is some urgency, but NOTHING has to be done tomorrow. You do
have time to become "comfortable" (
) with this. Pat's advice about a second opinion is especially important in your case where there ARE two viable options. And you are fortunate that your uro does not do RC's since there will be no problem with your seeking advice elsewhere.
You can take the time to explore your options...perhaps have the second TURB at a more comprehensive bladder cancer center...and make your decision from a platform of knowledge.
Do let us know where you are located geographically, and I know that Pat can recommend some good options for a second opinion/evaluation.
Keeping good thoughts
Sara Anne