I think you mean that you had cancer 5 years ago and now you had a recent recurrence. Low grade cancer recurs and is usually easy to deal with. You have not had cancer for 5 years.
Don't let this rule your life. If you were guaranteed to be cured of cancer forever it doesn't mean that meteor won't come crashing through the roof or a slip in the shower couldn't whack you in the head and cripple or kill you but you can't sit around worrying about those things either. You are going to die from something someday. There is no reason
WHATSOEVER that it needs to be bladder cancer.
Get a 2nd opinion at a major cancer center and get counseling to help you deal with things.
1. What is the worst thing that can happen?
If the answer is to die, then why waste your life waiting to die. We are all born terminal. Nobody lives on earth forever.
If the answer is that cancer will take away your ability to do something you want to do, then why not get busy doing it now?
Whatever the answer to that question (1) is for you, you have to then consider: What should I do about it?
There is a song that goes something like "Live Like We're Dying" by Kris Allen.
Here are the lyrics:
There is another version by Tim McGraw:
These are words to LIVE BY, not to DIE BY.
As for me....I've done all except the bull riding part but I never had a desire to ride bulls. Nothing wrong with someone else doing it, just not for me.
I didn't wait for cancer to do these things, but it hasn't stopped me from doing them since either.
Mike