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sleeping a little better now

8 years 10 months ago #30345 by GKLINE
That's the SPIRIT! Now you can MOVE FORWARD(but NOT like a TOYOTA.... they are moving backward)
You have now raised your focus to all the possibilities that lay before you. And THAT is a VERY good thing!!!

George

Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he's warm forever.

08/08/08...RC neo bladder
09/09/09...New Hip
=
New Man! [/size]

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8 years 10 months ago - 8 years 10 months ago #30341 by mmc
Good for you! That's the right attitude.

In the immortal words of Yoda, "Try? Try not! Do or do not. There is no TRY!"

...or better yet (and more fitting), the words of Spock, "Live Long...and Prosper". :)

Great to see you are ready to move on with life. Hope you get no more recurrences ever, but if you do, you can handle it.

Mike

Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results....distant mets
2/2014 ct result...spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph...

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8 years 10 months ago #30340 by gijosephine
if i do not say the things that i feel then i would be holding back. i am now comfortable talking about my feelings and sharing them with you. each of us had to address bladder cancer head on, i have dealt with each and every test to await the dianogsis only to tell a few the results. it seems like the more i talk about my recent reacurrence the more i realize it wasthe reccurance that upset me so. i went to my doctor and he found a tumor two days before my fiftieth birthday was i surprise and sad but did not tell anyone. i had a wonderful time not thinking about my dianogsisnot thinking about anything but turning 50. two days later i was in the hospital having a tumor removed . it was on that day when i asked my dr why did it come back and thats when he reminded me about the high reacurrence rate my early stage cancer had and that i must start over again. that was three months ago. i have been sad since that day. but im ready to start this journey i am ready to survive and live.

this is where i need to be

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8 years 10 months ago #30281 by ibpoew
Guess who? I told you I would periodically check on this forum. Sister, you have been dealt a hand that you are dealing with. You are not our mother. When she began to get symptoms, she ignored them and the results were she died of a cancer that was treatable. Like her, you had symptoms but you did not ignore them. You caught it in time and from what I am hearing and reading, you are blessed for it.

Many people live with illnesses that could take them out at a moments notice. Maybe not the big bad scary cancer, but think about those who are injecting themselves with insulin each day and what would be the results if they didn't. Or those who are strapped to a dialysis machine three times a week and what would happen if they don't go. Or maybe those people like myself who are forced to take medicine to control their hypertension.

We have not stopped our lives, we just altered them to include our diagnosis. I have known you all your life and you are not one to succumb to self pity. Realize how blessed you are to have gone 5 years without a reoccurance. Realize that your mental state of mind will determine how your next five years will got. It is up to you little sister.

Continue connecting to this forum and use it as a tool to make you stronger.

Love you,

Brenda

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8 years 10 months ago #30272 by GKLINE
I know, I want to be like Mike.

Please take his words and use them. It seems as though cancer can really make life come in to focus.

cancer can open your eyes to what really matters. I know I was on cruise control until my diagnosis. Since then I have gotten a kind of "clear vision" of the direction I want my life to go.

Please look at all you "have to do" not what I "gotta do"

George

Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he's warm forever.

08/08/08...RC neo bladder
09/09/09...New Hip
=
New Man! [/size]

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8 years 10 months ago - 8 years 10 months ago #30265 by mmc
I think you mean that you had cancer 5 years ago and now you had a recent recurrence. Low grade cancer recurs and is usually easy to deal with. You have not had cancer for 5 years.

Don't let this rule your life. If you were guaranteed to be cured of cancer forever it doesn't mean that meteor won't come crashing through the roof or a slip in the shower couldn't whack you in the head and cripple or kill you but you can't sit around worrying about those things either. You are going to die from something someday. There is no reason WHATSOEVER that it needs to be bladder cancer.

Get a 2nd opinion at a major cancer center and get counseling to help you deal with things.

1. What is the worst thing that can happen?

If the answer is to die, then why waste your life waiting to die. We are all born terminal. Nobody lives on earth forever.

If the answer is that cancer will take away your ability to do something you want to do, then why not get busy doing it now?

Whatever the answer to that question (1) is for you, you have to then consider: What should I do about it?

There is a song that goes something like "Live Like We're Dying" by Kris Allen.

Here are the lyrics:

Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
we're hiding behind skin that's too tough
how come we don't say I love you enough
till it's to late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
we could make a feast from these crumbs
and we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
so if your life flashed before you
what would you wish you would've done

Yeah... gotta start
lookin at the hand of the time we've been given here
this is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
gotta live like we're dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
turn it all around or throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
while we got the chance to say
gotta live like we're dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies
who would you call with your last goodbyes
should be so careful who we live out our lives
so when we long for absolution
there'll no one on the line

Yeah... gotta start
lookin at the hand of the time we've been given here
this is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
gotta live like we're dying


We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
turn it all around or throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
while we got the chance to say
gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying oh-- like we're dying [x2]

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
turn it all around or throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
while we got the chance to say
gotta live -- like we're dying

We never know a good thing till it's gone
you never see a crash until it's head on
all those people right when we're dead wrong
you never know a good thing till it's gone

Yeah... gotta start
lookin at the hand of the time we've been given here
this is all we got and we gotta start livin it
every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
gotta live like we're dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
turn it all around or throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
while we got the chance to say
gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying oh -- like we're dying [x2]

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
turn it all around or throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
while we got the chance to say
gotta live like we're dying
live like we're dying


There is another version by Tim McGraw:

Verse 1
He said I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me
And one moment came that stopped me on a dime
I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays
Talking bout' the options and talking bout' sweet times.
I asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end
How's it hit 'cha when you get that kind of news?
Man what did ya do?
He said

Chorus
I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

Verse 2
He said I was finally the husband, that most the time I wasn't
And I became a friend, a friend would like to have
And all of a sudden goin' fishin, wasn't such an imposition
And I went three times that year I lost my dad
Well I finally read the good book, and I took a good long hard look
At what I'd do if I could do it all again
And then

Chorus
I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Shu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

Bridge
Like tomorrow was the end
And ya got eternity to think about what to do with it
What should you do with it
What can I do with it
What would I do with it

Skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And man I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

To live like you were dyin' (4x)



These are words to LIVE BY, not to DIE BY.

As for me....I've done all except the bull riding part but I never had a desire to ride bulls. Nothing wrong with someone else doing it, just not for me. :) I didn't wait for cancer to do these things, but it hasn't stopped me from doing them since either.


Mike

Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results....distant mets
2/2014 ct result...spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph...

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