One piece of information that may help you convince him....
Explain how this is all very new to him, but not to us. We've been through it. Pat's been researching for 8-9 years. I've been researching for a few years. Others here have been researching for much longer than I have.
The research has shown (not just ours, but the research of doctors over the years) that the biggest predictor of the most positive outcomes is being treated at a top bladder cancer hospital with top doctors. Experience matters and that's what they deal with every single day, many times a day. The multidiscipline teams they have make a difference. The puliminologist (as Will and Pat mentioned) is the one to make the call in conjunction with the rest of the team about his candicacy for surgery.
Oncologists do not have the same experience in dealing with bladder cancer.
Did you see the oncologist at USC/Norris? They have a multi diciplinary team there including pulmonologists. Ask for a consult there. Did you see Gill? or Skinner?...Ask for Gill and tell him Pat his infamous Indiana pouch from Cinti sent you!!