Britt,
Sorry about my BCG comments. Pat is correct in what she described to you.
Since I had CIS, I sometimes forget that not everybody does.
In any case, with regard to the prostate sphincter pain, that was certainly always the most uncomfortable part of getting scoped for me, but certainly nothing like the pain you described. It only hurt like hell for less than a second as he pushed through. Hopefully, they at least used the numbing gel (and let it absorb for about 10 or so minutes before starting). If not, that's part of the problem right there. Make sure they give it time to work also.
As described by others, skill is a part of it also.
I had prostate problems anyway (BHP) but when I went in to get a bladder biopsy at one point my uro did some minor surgery on my prostate also in order to releive the pressure on my urethra. He said that in addition to hopefully relieving some of my symptoms, that it could make scoping a bit easier as well. That might be something to discuss with your surgeon if an in-office cystoscope continues to be a major problem for you.
It's not optional with regard to getting scoped every three months so it's important that you check out options to make the scoping reasonable.
I also agree with the others that if you can get to a major center it is well worth the drive my friend. Major centers have LOTS of experience with all aspects of this disease and very skilled surgeons. The more experience, the better when dealing with bladder cancer. Trust us....
Mike