Get a notepad and bring it to your next appointment and ask your doctor exactly what he means. Don't leave until you're satisfied that you understand. Believe me, I've been there. Things are happening so fast and so many unfamiliar terms are being tossed around that it's easy to lose focus and lose track of exactly what is going on. When I was first diagnosed I honestly didn't hear a word the urologist said--the room was spinning and I had to lie down I was so close to passing out.
As an aside, as my wife and I were driving home from the clinic in a state of silent shock, a car ran a stop sign and nearly t-boned us. It's not always the things you think are going to kill you that actually do. At any moment, at any intersection, life may throw you a curveball you'll never see coming. This one--bladder cancer--is at least a curveball you can take a swing at.
Chemo isn't a magic bullet that kills cancer. It is a systemic solution that kills *all* fast-growing cells, including the lining of your stomach and your mouth. If you had enough chemo to kill all your invasive bladder cancer it would do an incredible amount of damage to your body. And it probably wouldn't kill all the cancer anyway. Again, ask your doctor if this is an option.
None of us wanted to have our bladders removed, but compared to the alternative it's a walk in the park. Karen's (momof4) husband is, sadly, an example of someone with bladder cancer that has spread to other organs and his bones. If he could talk with you, I'm sure he'd advise you to have the surgery (if that's what your doctors are recommending) while you still can.
Since we're the same age, you might remember the film they showed in Driver's Ed called
Signal 30
. Signal 30 is the radio call-code police use to designate a traffic accident with fatalities, an accident there is no need to call the ambulance for. Please don't be a Signal 30 out of fear or confusion. If your bladder can be spared, terrific. But if not, there are people here who can help you through this with knowledge and support.
But please ask your doctors for options and opinions. If you aren't clear on something, don't walk out the door until you understand it.
Best wishes to you.
Zach