This is about my dad too.....advice needed!

How does your father feel about it? My mother was 83 when she developed leukemia and was in great shape before that. The chemo for leukemia is different, and she was really sick with the leukemia. She let the oncologist talk her into going for a second cycle of chemo, but the chemo was rough on her also, and she just decided she had had enough. The advice you get from the doctors will be crucial to help your father make a decision, but at 87 he may not be looking to prolong his life if it will be rough going even if he can get through it. Equally important though, when he makes his decision, the oncologist has to prepare him for what he would go through if he chooses not to have treatment because that might not be a walk in the park either.

Jim,

What a tough place to be...

I would not recommend the Chemo for you father...It causes extreme fatigue, nausea, muscle weakness...it can cause neuropathy (which is numbness in the feet and hands)which can make walking difficult, and other side effects that I am not familiar with because my husband didn't get them...In your Father's case I think that the Risks out weigh the benefits.

However, Radiation can definitely be used without Chemo. Radiation (in my opinion) is more of an exact science...When we consulted with the Radiology/oncologist we were told: DO you see where the cancer is on this CT Scan? When we take the next CT it will be gone! Granted they cannot radiate the entire body (Oh how I wish they could) but for specific spots, and for pain associated with those spots, Radiation offers the fewest side effects...As a matter of fact...my husband received relatively no side effects...This may not be true for all people, but in our case we were very pleased.

I don't envy your position...these are tough decisions...but ultimately they are your fathers...

If it were my father, I would want him to be as comfortable as possible, and do whatever he wanted for as long as he wanted...As long as there is no pain...that is the major concern.

My heart goes out to you,

.·:*¨¨*:·.Karen.·:*¨¨*:·.

So sorry Jim....its a tough question. With your fathers poor health and fragility the chemo might be to much for his heart to withstand. Even if they did the surgery with an external bag he would probably require someone to help him with the apparatus and tubes and its not an easy surgery for even a younger person. I would certainly talk with the oncologist with all your concerns. What does your father want to do? Pat

Hi all...as a "good son" of 55 ( and prostrate cancer survivor) i am trying to help my dad navigate his bladder cancer. I need some advice on how to help him.

First off: My dad is 87 and in relatively poor health. He has other (heart and BP) issues. He has had 2 scopes ( i found out about the first one after the second) where he was shaved. I was with him at the follow up appointement and i found the following: he as Type 2 Grade 2 cancer and the urologist said he would try and build a new bladder if he were younger. We discussed Chemo/ radiation amoung other things. Doc said if he comes in every three months or so they would shave any tumors that appear. He said he would reccomend an oncologist if we wanted. Later he told me that he wouldn't recommend the chemo /radiaiton treatement for him and that he had potentailly 3 - 5 years left. He told me that the chemo /radiation could possbilty delay...but not eliminate.

So..i am going to talk with the oncologist next week and want to ask the real hard questions of what is really involved. My dad has a living will and has lived a great life. A part of me doesn't want to let go, and the other wants to see him out of pain and pour health and be with mom (who we lost 10 yrs ago). I hate to see him go through a regaime of chemo (which i don't know very much about) and be sick with a worse quality of life ...just for a few months of time....,

Quesitons:
1. what really happens during chemo/radiation in terms of sickness? can a guy like my dad who has a hard time getting out of bed some days reasonable go through it?

2. What kind of "real" benefit do u think it would bring for a man in his situation.

3. can you do chemo without radiation? or vias versa?

I have other questions, but the real one is to do chemo or not?

Thanks for all your help in advance!

Jim
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