Physiology of Grief

12 years 1 month ago #40914 by upnorth
Replied by upnorth on topic Physiology of Grief
Annie,

It is always hard to lose a brother or sister. I lost my sister three years ago from a hart attack. I'm so glad you could be with your family, they always seem to help in times like this. But sometimes we need to talk to someone who is from the outside looking in. Someone who is trained to watch for signs of danger that even we ourselves are not aware of.

I hope after the grieving you are able to find a peaceful acceptance of the loss of your brother. They are gone but live in our thoughts daily.

Mark

Age 55
Diagnosed BC 12/20/2011 Ta No Mo 0a Non-Invasive At age 48
"Please don't cry because it is over..... Smile because it happened!" {Dr. Seuss} :)

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12 years 1 month ago - 12 years 1 month ago #40913 by CatherineH
Replied by CatherineH on topic Physiology of Grief
Hello Annie... I am so very sorry about your brother! There is just no way to absorb a loss like that except over time.

I definitely believe stress, especially the sudden severe emotional distress over your brother, paired with the stress of dealing with a diagnosis of BC, has a potentially devastating effect on overall health. Just a few days ago some articles were published about things like that making a person sick. Not being able to eat and sleep can compromise the immune system.

I applaud your making an appointment to see someone to help deal with it all. I have seen a counselor when things just got bigger than me and it helps to just pour all of it out to an objective but nurturing listener. They can also offer some strategies for coping techniques.

I hope others can chime in with any BCG advice. I've never had it so am of no help on that front. Take care of yourself and rest as much as your worries let you... and I hope they are chased away very soon. I hope your treatment next week goes well.

Best wishes... Catherine

TURBT 1/21/10 at age 55
Dx: T2aN0M0 Primary Bladder Adenocarcinoma
Partial Cystectomy 2/25/10
Vanderbilt Medical Center
Nashville, TN

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12 years 1 month ago #40912 by sara.anne
Replied by sara.anne on topic Physiology of Grief
Oh Annie, such terrible news. I lost my only brother very suddenly about 7 years ago and I miss him so much. Somehow, a close sibling is about the closest friend you can have. Try to think of all the wonderful times you had together and treasure them and take joy from them.

Very fortunate that you were able to delay the BCG. Really, it is usually not a big deal, but a major inconvenience. Do plan on doing NOTHING else that day.

As you probably already know, you are supposed to keep it in your bladder for about 2 hours... (they told me if I couldn't quite do that, OK...but I could). Then you start to pee. And pee. And pee. There may (or may not) be a little blood and I sometimes felt like I had cramps (remember those?) Follow the directions for bleach in the toilet. After about 6 hours, things start to get better. You may feel a bit fatigued a day or so after, particularly with subsequent instilations. Then you are OK...and facing the next treatment.

It is very doable...and surely better than systemic chemo. AND it can be life-saving. I had the 6-one a week, and then an awful lot of maintenance doses. BUT I DID IT. We did reduce the dose to 1/3 part way through the maintenance course.

You CAN do this....

Sara Anne

Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
BCG; BCG maintenance
Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
Forum Moderator

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12 years 1 month ago #40911 by annie
Physiology of Grief was created by annie
Oh my gosh....I was to begin my six week BCG treatment on 1/27/2012 but my sweet brother died unexpectedly in his sleep on 1/17/2012. I had to travel by car up to northern Wisc to tend to the family and memorial. Spent 8 days in the car and really wasn't prepared at all for the beginning of BCG. As fate would have it on Friday morning the Dr office called and asked to have the treatment postponed until 2/3/2012.
I am still in shock about my brother's death and have lost weight and sleep but I am going to therapy tonight for some emotional support. So far, I don't know if the stress from grief has had any effect on my body but it is a curious question... I am once again going to ask for any tips I could use for the beginning of the BCG.

thanks,
Annie

T1
N0
M0

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