Sharon......Geez......i'm so sorry. You've certainly got enough on your plate without your husband walking out the door. I could give you a solution to that one but unfortunately i think unless you claim temporary insanity you'd probably get a jail sentence...unless there are only women on the jury.
As for the bacteria.....its pretty common for neobladders to always have some bacteria in them. They only treat if you become symptomatic.
In studies patients with neobladders, not on antibiotic therapy, were culture positive, and half of these contained uropathogenic species, such as Escherichia coli, Klebsiella pneumoniae, Pseudomonas aeruginosa, and Enterococcus faecalis. Bacterial colonization (including uropathogenic strains) was strongly correlated with residual urine (p<0.005), but not with leakage. Anaerobic strains were found more frequently (p=0.04) in urine from ileal neobladders than in urine from colonic neobladders. The 13 patients with ileal neobladders and on prophylactic antibiotic therapy carried bacteriuria in 80% of the samples, the majority being anaerobic strains. Uropathogenic strains, mainly Enterecoccus faecalis was revealed in 30% of the samples.
Conclusions: The lower urinary tract of patients with ileal or colonic neobladders is heavily colonized with potentially uropathogenic and anaerobic bacteria. Complete bladder emptying reduces the bacterial burden. Anaerobic colonization is increased in neobladders reconstructed from ileum. Prophylactic antibiotic therapy does not seem to reduce the bacterial burden, but interferes with the bacterial composition.
There's been a lot of discussion on this as so many uro's treat with an antibiotic when they see the bacteria even though the patient is asymptomatic.
I wonder if whats making you ill isn't something to do with your kidney?
I'm guessing they're to large to pass or do lithotripsy? Found an article from Mayo on stones
www.mayoclinic.org/kidney-stones/treatment.html
So your appointment on the 29th is for what...CT, MRI? Did they say spots on the kidney or stones? Sorry for my confusion. Anyway that seems a long time to wait while you're in pain.
Will your insurance allow you to go out of state? I might just get another opinion at this point at perhaps Johns Hopkins which is the #1 Urology Hospital in the country.
Pat