Cynthia,
I have read and reread what you just told me, and I know you are right.
I had blood work and a CT scan yesterday and the oncologist told me there is no cancer. They couldn't see inside my bladder, but there is no evidence of cancer anywhere else, so I have been cleared for surgery.
I get to meet my surgeon this Thursday and of course I am very anxious about whatever she has to say. I am told she is excellent, that she specializes in robotic surgery, so we'll see what she wants to do with me.
I actually have been seeing a therapist for the last month, and it helps a lot to vent to her. She is a very kind, compassionate person and I feel much better when I see her.
I know my journey is far from over, and I also know that I have to do this. I want to grow old with my wonderful husband, I want to see my four young grandchildren grow up and be happy, and I want to live long enough to see my daughter get married!! (she gets embarrassed when I say that , but it's a valid goal in my mind!!)
So, again I thank you for your comforting message. I know I can do this, it's just so very hard. But you already know that.
With gratitude,
Mary