Lupenbill, I'm sorry that you are going through this. I was in your shoes about a year ago, so I know exactly how you feel. It's much easier said than done, but try to relax - and remember to breathe.
I'm going to assume that your doctor has scheduled you for a TURBT to remove the growth and send it out for pathology to determine exactly what you are dealing with. Once that's done, you and your doctor(s) can determine the correct treatment plan for you.
Keep us posted on your progress and please feel free to ask questions. There is a wealth of knowledge and support available from the members at this site.
Take care,
LilyG