One week before your cystoscope, the little man in your head awakens and tries to get the best of you.
Hey........ its almost time to get checked again!
I know, just go away.
But what if its bad news? What are you going to do then?
It won't be bad news. Everything is going to be alright........now GO AWAY!
Fine I'll wait until you go to bed and then we will talk again......... See ya soon.
This will go on all week. The best way I have found to deal with this, is to talk to someone, or go on to the Web Site and try to help the others out. Or post your concerns and have them try to help you out.
Just don't sit there and let him get the best of you.
Now, if your like me you lay awake for most of the night before.
This is typically when the little guy in your head really starts to do his dirty work. He's not real loud and obnoxious, but he is persistent. Just ignore him and get some sleep.
The day of the appointment goes somewhat like this:
7:30 You rise and get yourself ready to go.
8:30 You drive to the clinic........ All the time thinking –- I wish that little guy would shut up.
9:15 You're in the office registering..... You sit down to wait, and out of no where the little guy creeps back into your head...... You now turn to your wife and say …... I would like to go home now.
She is well aware that this is the little guy in your head talking and calmly says...... no.
9:25 You are trying to remember if it hurt when they gave you the Novocaine last time or not, when you notice a High-Lights magazine on the table in front of you. Your heart hurts a little as you remember that kids have to come here too.
9:30 They call out your name.
Yes. I am here.
Welcome and how are you feeling today?
I'm fine. And yourself?
When really inside you are saying....... I have cancer........ but I feel fine.
Then you think to yourself....... I wounder how I am supposed to feel? I don't look sick..... I don”t feel sick..... But still everyone is worried that I might die.
9:35 You remove your clothing below the waist and take a seat on the chair next to the cystoscope and wait for the assistant to come back in to numb you up. You are a little embarrassed by the fact that you are sitting on a chair with everything exposed and a girl younger than your daughter is about to grab your pee-pee and pour Novocaine into it.
Then you think to yourself...... Did I just call it a Pee-Pee?
9:45 The assistant arrives and is very polite and kind to you as she numbs you up.
( I don't think she heard you call it a Pee-Pee.)
She then tells you that it will be about ten minuets until the Novocaine takes affect. Then the doctor will be right in to see you.
You politely thank her...... ( for not hurting you )...... and calmly wait for the doctor to show up.
9:55 The Urologist comes in and greets you. He then starts to insert the cystocope in to your …... okay Pee-Pee.
You start to feel it and are waiting for it to start hurting, but it doesn’t hurt real bad so you relax a little, then he says “Here's where we turn the corner.” You bridge up slightly as you feel the scope trying to get through the prostate. You start to breath out slowly to try and stop the spasms. Then you feel a sharp pain and its in. (Thank God) You can feel the scope moving around, but its not to bad.
Then the doctor turns on the monitor so you can see whats happening. BCTV (Bladder Cancer TV) I call it.
Everything is smooth an clear of tumors. So the doctor pulls out the scope and says the words you have waited three months to hear.......... All Clear.
Your happiness is only surpassed by the sudden urge to urinate for possible the next ten to fifteen minuets........ maybe longer.
10:10 The Urologist leaves the room and the assistant tells you its okay to clean up and get dressed. And by the way you can use the container on the counter to void into if you feel the need to.
And in you head you are saying: If I feel the need to?...... GOOD GOD ….... Please just leave the room NOW!
10:15 You consult with the Urologist about the visit and set up your next appointment. Then you make your exit, hitting every rest room on your way out.
Soon you are home and resting. You still feel the urge to urinate a lot but it's getting better.
11:30 You get up to urinate again but this time its a bit different than before. It burns a little when you start, and when your done you place both hands on to your ….. okay Pee-Pee. This is when you realize the Novocaine has wore off, and you are on your own. You soon learn that a warm towel, or hot pad feels real good after urinating.
12:30 You wander back into the bathroom for the One Millionth time. You decide that this time you will just stand and do it. So as you start to urinate, you rise up on to your tippy- toes, then slowly settle back down to the floor once it gets going. This time all the water you have been drinking pays off, and you pee like there is no tomorrow. And when you are done it only stings slightly............ Man what a relief.
2:00 Finally you are starting to feel normal again and the urge to pee is just about gone.
6:00 You have told all of your friends that you are all clear and will be back to see them tomorrow........ this is where they all should be cheering....... well maybe not.
10:30 Off to bead........ you have had a long day and deserve a good nights rest.
10:35 You hear from inside your head...........PSSSST........ remember me?
You simply answer: Yes......... and you lost again....... Good Night!