Hi everyone! Long time, no post! I had my most recent cystoscopy earlier this month and it was clear! Hurray! I am approaching the 2-year mark since my diagnosis.

Like a good girl, I am on a maintenance schedule with BCG, currently getting three weeks of treatments every six months. The dosage of BCG has been reduced, so the side effects are manageable.

Here\'s the tough part for me: catheter insertion and removal. I have tried bringing in headphones/iPod to listen to something to help me relax while they\'re getting the catheter in place, but there is always some sharp pain associated with that process. (I am a yoga/pilates instructor and have tried every breathing and relaxation trick I know, to no avail.) Perhaps the last two years, which have included two TURBTs, numerous cystoscopies and several rounds of BCG, have left me with a beaten up urethra. Maybe there\'s some scar tissue in there?

My question: would I be out of line for asking for pharmaceutical assistance to get through these BCG treatments? Something like xanax or valium? If anyone has any suggestions, I\'m all ears. I usually protest loudly at the idea of taking any unnecessary medication, but I have tried everything I can think of, short of bringing in a bunch of aromatherapy candles and a harpist.

Otherwise, I\'m healthy and strong, and starting to think that maybe I have beaten this ... fingers crossed, knock on wood ...